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How To Write An Obituary
By Alan Leach
While knowing how to write an obituary may seem a rather morbid skill to possess, when the time does come when a loved one passes away, knowing how to write an obituary can make a big difference for the surviving relatives and friends. A well thought out obituary will help with the grieving process and can often help to heal personal hurts, as the actual writing will allow you insight into your own relationship with the deceased.
A good first step when learning how to write an obituary is to contact the newspaper you would like the obituary to appear in and find out whether any restrictions on length apply, as well as the cost of the obituary. While this may not be a time to think about money, for many with tight budgets it is always a necessary factor to consider.
The first paragraph should include the person's full-name, age and location of death. You may want to mention the reason for passing away, although this is often very sensitive and this should be left up to your discretion. Make sure all the facts are correct, and make doubly certain the newspaper is absolutely clear about important spellings, especially names.
The next paragraph of the obituary should detail the deceased life. Concentrate on the main events, especially accomplishments and achievements, both in professional and personal terms. While an obituary is by its very nature a solemn piece of writing, use the opportunity to celebrate the life of the person you are writing about, and let your love, respect or admiration for the deceased be clear for all to see. Try to avoid dwelling on your relationship with the person as this is sure to evoke problems with other friends and family. This mini-biography of the life of the deceased should be in chronological order, beginning with birthplace and time of birth.
When writing the obituary, include any schools attended, as well as company names, and mention the dates of attendance. The deceased may have lost contact with many people over the years but an obituary letter in a newspaper is often read by many (some old people say it's the first thing they read, to make sure they are not in it!). As it's not practical to contact each and every person the deceased may have met, an obituary letter can perform the same job.
The next step in learning how to write an obituary letter is to provide information about who the deceased is survived by, especially the spouse and children. More problematic is knowing whether to mention ex-husbands and wives or other estranged friends and relatives. Including them could cause a great deal of conflict and anger while not including them could of course upset the person involved. While there is no easy way to deal with this situation, you should try to think about whether the deceased themselves would want a certain person included in the obituary.
The last part of writing an obituary is to include information about where and when the funeral service will happen (or wake, cremation, memorial service etc.)
It's natural upon hearing the sad news that many well-wishers will want to send flowers. While this is a poignant symbol of affection, it may result in dozens of floral tributes arriving! An alternative therefore might be to mention a favourite charity of the deceased and to ask that well-wishers consider making a donation instead.
While it is understandable that most people do not wish to think about how to write an obituary, when the inevitable time comes it will help all concerned through the grieving process if it is done well.
See Also:
more info on how to write an obituary
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