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How To Tell If Someone Is Lying
By Polly Hamilton
If you are discerning person who listens attentively in conversations,
it should be easy to tell if someone is lying. However, not everybody
is a good listener or discerning, so these skills need to be learnt.
If someone is lying, their body language is generally the first give
away sign. Someone who is lying usually has stiff body movement with
limited arm and hand movement. They do this to draw less attention to
what they are saying. A liar often avoids eye contact, usually because
they are embarrassed because they are being dishonest. A liar is also
likely to touch their face and neck in nervous gestures.
If you watch a liars face you should also be able to tell that they
are lying. A forced smile is very different from a genuine smile. A
genuine smile should involve the entire face, including the eyes. A
liar's smile, however, will generally involve only the mouth muscles.
Often a liar's facial expression will contradict what they are saying.
For example, subconsciously shaking their head as they tell you "you
are right, I agree." Watching a possible liar's eyes will aid your
judgment largely. A person who is lying will be hiding their true
emotion in their eyes; this is another reason why they avoid looking
people directly in the eyes. A person may smile with their mouth, but
if they are lying their eyes will remain sad.
If you accuse or suggest someone is lying and they are guilty they
will often become defensive. Honest people will become offensive. The
reason liars become defensive is because they can't imagine how they
would answer if they were really telling the truth. So they attempt to
sound believable, but their tone of voice will get higher and they
will sound agitated because they are unsure of how to deal with the
situation.
Another way that you can tell if someone is lying is by how much they
speak when they are talking about the 'lying' topic, compared to how
much they usually speak. If someone is discussing the topic a lot and
keeps bringing it up, you can probably assume that it makes them
nervous and that they feel compelled to convince you that they are
being honest. However, if they rarely talk about the topic and are
relaxed when they do so, you can probably assume that they are in fact
being honest.
Of course the easiest way to tell if someone is lying is by delicately
asking them yourself. A liar will rarely be able to fool someone if
they are asked to speak about the topic directly. Don't ask a
close-ended question such as "are you being honest with me?", because
the answer will be "yes" and that is an easy lie. You should ask
directly an open-ended question such as "tell me what really happened
that night, because I know you didn't stay at your friends." That is a
harder question for a liar to answer because it requires more than a
yes or no, and therefore more control of their emotions, facial
expressions, etc.
The most important thing is to not be fooled by all those lairs out
there, and remember that some people will be able to lie well enough
to avoid being caught without some snooping!
See Also:
More info on how to tell if someone is lying
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