How To Tell If Someone Is Lying

 How To's / Social & Relationships


How To Tell If Someone Is Lying

 

By Polly Hamilton
If you are discerning person who listens attentively in conversations, it should be easy to tell if someone is lying. However, not everybody is a good listener or discerning, so these skills need to be learnt.
If someone is lying, their body language is generally the first give away sign. Someone who is lying usually has stiff body movement with limited arm and hand movement. They do this to draw less attention to what they are saying. A liar often avoids eye contact, usually because they are embarrassed because they are being dishonest. A liar is also likely to touch their face and neck in nervous gestures.
If you watch a liars face you should also be able to tell that they are lying. A forced smile is very different from a genuine smile. A genuine smile should involve the entire face, including the eyes. A liar's smile, however, will generally involve only the mouth muscles. Often a liar's facial expression will contradict what they are saying. For example, subconsciously shaking their head as they tell you "you are right, I agree." Watching a possible liar's eyes will aid your judgment largely. A person who is lying will be hiding their true emotion in their eyes; this is another reason why they avoid looking people directly in the eyes. A person may smile with their mouth, but if they are lying their eyes will remain sad.
If you accuse or suggest someone is lying and they are guilty they will often become defensive. Honest people will become offensive. The reason liars become defensive is because they can't imagine how they would answer if they were really telling the truth. So they attempt to sound believable, but their tone of voice will get higher and they will sound agitated because they are unsure of how to deal with the situation.
Another way that you can tell if someone is lying is by how much they speak when they are talking about the 'lying' topic, compared to how much they usually speak. If someone is discussing the topic a lot and keeps bringing it up, you can probably assume that it makes them nervous and that they feel compelled to convince you that they are being honest. However, if they rarely talk about the topic and are relaxed when they do so, you can probably assume that they are in fact being honest.
Of course the easiest way to tell if someone is lying is by delicately asking them yourself. A liar will rarely be able to fool someone if they are asked to speak about the topic directly. Don't ask a close-ended question such as "are you being honest with me?", because the answer will be "yes" and that is an easy lie. You should ask directly an open-ended question such as "tell me what really happened that night, because I know you didn't stay at your friends." That is a harder question for a liar to answer because it requires more than a yes or no, and therefore more control of their emotions, facial expressions, etc.
The most important thing is to not be fooled by all those lairs out there, and remember that some people will be able to lie well enough to avoid being caught without some snooping!

See Also:
More info on how to tell if someone is lying


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