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How To Say Sorry
By Polly Hamilton
Most people know how to say sorry; they are taught at a young age when
they hit their play mate with a Tonka truck, or steal their sisters
Barbie doll. But many people forget how to say sorry, they get out of
practice and when it comes to the crunch are lost for words. So here's
how to say sorry tactfully and sincerely.
The first thing you have to decide when you know how to say sorry is
whether you should wait a while or apologize immediately. If you ran
over your neighbors cat you better take round some homemade cookies
really soon! But if you've hurt someone who is violent you may need to
try calling them first then give the situation some time. Hopefully
they will cool down some!
So you've decided when the appropriate time is to say sorry and you're
on your way to their house. You need to remember to humble. Taking a
visible peace offering, like food or a new plant, is a good idea. They
will be able to see from afar that you come in peace. Then knock on
their door, if they don't answer after two knocks it is clear that
they are not ready to speak to you. Leave the gift and try to say
sorry another day. If, however, you are invited in, be the most polite
and considerate you have ever been! But do not be a suck up.
Hopefully they will then invite you into your living room. Remember
you are in their domain, don't sit until asked and don't request
refreshments. If you are offered tea or coffee say you would like to
help them get it. Once you are both seated and comfortable get
straight to the point. Don't try and make small talk, they are angry
with you or hurt by you and will just be wondering why you are there.
You are best to start your apology by saying "I have come round
because I want to let you know how sorry I am." DON'T start by
reminding them the details of what you did! It will only bring back
bad memories and emotions.
Keep your apology short and sweet. Don't grovel, it will seem like you
want there sympathy when most often you won't deserve it. You are not
the victim, they are. Once you have said sorry, pause to see if they
wish to forgive you, or otherwise (never ask for forgiveness!!!). If
they have nothing to say make your excuses, thank them profusely for
the refreshments and be smartly on your way. Don't overstay your
'welcome'. If they have accepted your apology they will let you know
in their own time.
And remember, you are the one in the wrong. You can't expect to be
forgiven and you especially can't expect them to forget what you did.
Just hope that the person to whom you are saying sorry is gracious and
doesn't make you suffer for whatever it is you have done.
See Also:
More info on how to say sorry in a relationship
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