How To Save A Relationship

By Polly Hamilton
Often a relationship needs saving because someone in that relationship has done something. But occasionally it's because both people in the relationship haven't put in any effort or energy in a long time. And remember, not all relationships that have problems are between a man and a woman! Mothers and daughters have problems, friends, cousins, workmates, etc.

How to start:
In order to start saving a relationship, you need to realize that it needs saving! Sometimes one person may see there is a problem, while the other doesn't want to know or just doesn't realize. I once had two friends, one of whom just stopped speaking to the other. None of us could work out why, and she refused to speak about it. The friend who was being cut off tried to solve the problem, but because the friend who wouldn't speak to her wouldn't admit it was even happening the problem was never solved. So that is step number one, and it is a big step! In order to save a relationship you must have the other person on board. And sometimes the other person might not want to save the relationship. In that case, you have to come to terms with their decision.

What to do next:
Learning how to save a relationship is difficult, and often comes down to the specific circumstances of your particular relationship. But something all problems solving process involve is talking! Tell the other person how you feel and that you want to save the relationship! If the relationship is with your husband or wife, let them know why you think the relationship is broken, let them know what you need in order for it to be saved. With a friend it may not be so blatant. Instead you may just need to spend more time with them talking about life in general. In most friends relationships you can't make demands of people like you could of your partner. When you talk to them you need to be more subtle in solving the problem. So once you've realized that you need to save your relationship, start talking to the other person involved in that relationship. Things will begin to become clearer.

Spend time:
So you've talked it through and you both know what the problem was in the relationship. Now you don't just need to focus on that problem, but spend more time with each other than you used to. In order to save a relationship, you must invest time to show your commitment. If you relationship with your mother needed saving, consider taking her out shopping, or going to the beach for a walk. Outings like these make the other person feel needed and they feel like they're important in your life.

What if it doesn't work?
Of course you can do all this, and do it will, and it might be to no avail. Sometimes people choose to leave relationships behind them. Sometimes what you have done to them has hurt them beyond repair. Once you feel you've tried enough, you need to let go and move on from the relationship. There is no use hurting yourself by persisting and expending all your energy on someone who won't return. Let them know that you still love them and value their relationship, but if they don't want to save your relationship you are going to have to walk away.

How to save a relationship:
So in order to save a relationship: recognize the problem, talk it over, spend time solving it, and walk away if it is beginning to hurt you.

See Also:
More info on how to save a relationship

Overcome Control Conflict With Your Spouse Or Partner

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