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How To Read Body Language
By Polly Hamilton
How to read body language:
65-90% of every conversation is read through body language. That is a huge statistic considering only 4% of us consciously read body language! Body language is a huge part of how we function and communicate as a society. Some people just never seem to pick up on body language, or only have a basic handle of how to interpret body language. In this article I will give an overview of how to read peoples body language in everyday life. Remember thought that the more you observe body language, the more you will learn about what people are really saying. Knowing how to read body language also helps when you want to mask your true emotions. For example, someone who doesn't know how to control and read their body language may seem rude because they talk to people they dislike with their back turned to them. If you are aware of your own body language you are far less likely to hurt people, and far more likely to be understood and read more easily.
How to read body language: yourself
Begin to take note of your own body language in different situations (without be self conscious of it). You will use different body language when talking to your mum, partner, boss, teacher, etc. It is a good idea to refine your body language sometimes, especially in more formal situations. For example, you might realize that your body language with your boss is the same as with you mother, informal. The problem with this is that your boss may read into your body language and think you are too laid back and relaxed. Try to control your body language, looking your boss in the eye when you speak, standing taller, not invading his personal space (a common mistake with friendly people, sometimes it just isn't appropriate).
How to read body language: in public
A common mistake made is by shop assistants (mainly in retail stores). Their pay is low; they work long hours and most of the time they just don't want to be there. Their voice will tell you they're full of enthusiasm when they say “how may I help you sir!” The body language you read often tells a different story. They may have their arms crossed or leaning lazily on a counter. They will most likely be slouching and putting most of their weight on one leg. Most shoppers only look at the assistants face and assume that all is well. It is helpful to read their body language because when you know what mood they are truly in you can make the whole experience better. Next time you come across a grouchy shop assistant, read their body language. Ask them how their days been, what they have planned for the evening, how their weekend was. Some people may not want to talk to shoppers, but for other shop assistants it adds a bit of interest to their day. The more you smile and give off positive body language the better they'll feel. And the more they'll help you!
How to read body language: relationships
It is terribly important to be able to read your family and friends body language, especially your children's. It will help you know when to back off, when to give support, in other words it adds subtext to conversation. Next time your teenager is shouting at you read their body language: are they close to you, in your face? Or maybe they yell at you from far away with their back turned. If you fight closely with someone maybe they are trying to tell you they don't want to talk, they just want a hug and some closeness, but are too embarrassed to say this aloud. And if your teenage is as far away from you as possible and doesn't even want to look at you, I suggest you give them some space. Go for a walk or leave them alone for an hour or two. They might come and talk to you. If they don't think about how your body language is when you shout at them. Go back to talk to them and refine your body language. This situation really applies to all close relationships. Many people take for granted that what someone is saying is what they really mean. Read their body language and you'll see that this is so often not the case.
See Also:
More info on how to read body language
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